Life as We Know it

Whoa! Where do I even begin? I know I have kept a lot of you out of the loop and in total suspense throughout the last couple of weeks and maybe even months. I also know that you can understand that when I don’t share things it is for my own good and others around me BUT now I can finally spill the beans……

Some of you noticed my absence from posting certain things and maybe you recognized my old house in a few stories or photos. A lot of you guessed your best guesses and my patients texted me in a rush for their next treatment just in case I was leaving the state 😂 I am staying put!

Some say that time heals all wounds and I am not sure if that is really true, but absence can make the heart grow fonder and sometimes life has a way of pointing you to what really can make you happy. I 100% know that not everyone reading this believes in God or is skeptical, but that’s ok, this is my story and my testimony and I encourage you to still read on.

I hit rock bottom after my divorce but my social media presence would not indicate to you. I was trying to hold everything together. I was at the lowest of lows. I avoided everything of my old life. I couldn't even listen to the radio because the songs stirred up feelings and took me back down the dark rabbit hole. I grew up in church, was forced to go, saw all of the hypocrisy around church and kept arms length away because religion is touchy and for a lot of my years, wasn’t considered “cool”. Seriously. But I always believed. After the mess surrounding me, I hit my knees in surrender. I felt I had nothing left to lose. There was no other way for me to heal. I tried everything on my own, my own plan failed me, and my life appeared ok, but it was dark. I starting reading, praying, and asking God to pick me up. My specific prayer was “God heal my heart and let your will be done. I am yours. I trust you.”

This rollercoaster went on for about 5 months. Ups and downs occurred daily, I began to run to relieve my anxiety and I would take that time to pray, talk to God, to look around and be thankful that I was alive and breathing. Often times I would be running and crying. I started listening to Christian hits Pandora radio as I ran because like I said, every other station was a trigger for me and left me feeling sorry for myself. Little did I know I would allow myself to hear God the most during those runs and I would pray for signs that he was talking to me and working in my life. Ask and you shall receive. I got God winks and in the craziest ways at the exact moments I needed them. So much so, that I would just be running and laughing or crying again. Remember, I was an emotional wreck.

After the New Year, Rowan’s dad and I started counseling. Side note: Can we stop the stigma of counseling? Like seriously. I think everyone should have it or have had it at some point, especially couples. We plan on it being a monthly thing for us still. Use it as a tool, not a last ditch effort. Ok back to the story….Our intention was to see if we could work as a couple again after a lot of years crap, like a lot of crap. Remember life is HARD. We never set out to get back together for our daughter. If we didn’t reconcile, we would still be great co-parents and excellent communicators, but if we did, we could be stronger than ever. We never told anyone what we were doing except for family and a few close friends. It's unfortunate that we had to keep some things like that private for fear of people trying to break us apart again. But once you recognize the toxic influences from your past, you eliminate them for your future. We started with family dinners. We never broke our divorce schedule with Rowan because again, if it didn’t work out, her world would not be shifted. We then added in date nights. It was like restarting over again to what made us get together in the first place. Why did we choose each other over 12 years ago? I gifted him the same Bible I was reading and began to tell him why I had that untouchable joy and if we were going to work, we had to be on the same page. Not that I made him do anything, but encouraged him to find his own joy first. Remember, NO ONE can make you happy. You have to be happy with yourself and worldly things change daily, they don’t last, they are never fulfilling but only for a second. But the one constant reminder is that God never changes.

I started seeing changes in him and he started seeing changes in me. We kept plugging along. We had a few set backs and a few eye opening events, but I feel that was God healing us individually. I had walls that needed to be broken down and boy did they fall. It wasn’t pretty. We knew that we didn't want to be with anyone else. We have a history. We have a daughter. We have extended family, step children. We looked at homes all Summer but never with the set intention of buying. If you know us, we LOVE looking at houses and remodeling them. It got to the point where we were spending every evening together as a family and I would cook dinner and we would hang out until it was time for bed, then I would go home or vice versa. Again, all for our daughter. Kids like routine and structure, well ours does.

And it went like……

Tuesday I sent him a text of a house that looked neat online. I drove by it since it was close and was like ehhh nope, it’s ugly. Seriously. That evening we looked at the photos online together and agreed that it needed some love but we liked doing that. He suggested that we go look at it. So I called our realtor friend that evening and she said we could see it at 11 am on Wednesday but not before that because it already had a few other showings set up. 11 o’clock we looked at it and surprisingly liked it more than the photos. We saw potential. A new start. We went to lunch and were talking about it over a glass of wine and he said, let’s put in an offer. Shocked, I was like naw it is way too much money for what we want to do with it. Naw there is always something else. Naw I don’t even know why I am talking myself out of anymore because it was uncomfortable. It was the new start I was praying for, but I was scared. Naturally, I prayed all the way to get Rowan from school and all the way home. Talking to God in my head. But maybe if we submit a low offer (like ridiculous) they could counter and we would have our top dollar we wanted to spend and maybe they wouldn’t accept? This house had been on the market for 2 days. After him telling me to submit the crazy low offer, we both agreed to it, and we did it. Totally thinking it would get rejected. Remember my prayers.

That same Wednesday night, they accepted it. Plain and simple. Like what? Are you kidding me? The realtors were in shock and couldn't believe that they accepted it and told us we got an incredible deal. Everyone was in shock. We were so excited. I literally couldn't sleep. So much running through my mind and the dark thoughts immediately come back like the “what ifs” but, I prayed. “If it is your will God, it will be done. Help me trust you.”

The next day I needed to set up and inspection and I was given 3 phone numbers to different companies. I called the third one on the list for some reason. We needed a Wednesday time for the following week as everyone would be off of work. The inspector guy answered the phone and said, “I only have one day available next week and it is Wednesday.” Ha ok God you are good. We will take it I said.

We bought a house. Together. A new start. A fresh beginning. God in the center of it. Because let’s be honest, he broke me to show me HIS plan, not mine. Mine failed me. You can call it what you want. You can say that we made this work for whatever reason or you can convince yourself there are other motives, but if those are your first thoughts, ask yourself “where is my own joy or happiness that I am thinking or wishing bad thoughts on someone else?” Don’t waste your life hating and judging others so that your life is robbed of it’s full potential. If you hear people tearing others down, pray for them. They are hurting.

I look forwards to sharing the upcoming journey with you all and remember life is not perfect. My life is still not perfect. I am here to be a light for anyone going through a hard time to let you know there is hope and a way to a better, more fulfilling life. Please hear my heart on this. You are loved.

I want to send out a huge thank you to my cheerleaders, my supporters, my followers, my family and my dearest friends. The amount of messages I have received in full support of any upcoming endeavor has richly blessed my life. No explanations needed, just prayers and love. So often I have thought of stopping all social media channels but even when I step back from posting fashion things and I switch things up again, your loyalty to me remains. I am grateful to you all for that and know that you have played a part in my healing process. Stay tuned for the renovation and transformation of not only my life but OUR NEW HOUSE!

XOXO

Botox & Fillers- Q&A

So happy to be writing this post about Botox and fillers because there is a big stigma behind injectables. Who gets them? Why do they get them? They over did them. I don’t want anyone to know I get them. My husband would kill me if I got them.

You all know that I am an open book when it comes to what I do and what I have done because I feel that transparency is the best way for you guys to relate and trust my opinions.

First off, I am not just some random lady who ordered some drugs from Mexico and started poking people 😂 I am a Registered nurse and I was a labor & delivery nurse for 9 years until I stayed home with my daughter. I still have my license but am not “working” in the hospital setting. I took basic and advanced classes and obtained my certification. I loved it so much, I am continuing my education and flying to Dallas in May for a lip course by the most known lip gal in the business, Julie Horne. Get in line because when I get back I am going to want to do lots of lips 👄

I want you to leave me looking exactly like you wanted to look. I will never over inject, I will never “sell” you on getting anything more than you are comfortable with. I would rather under-inject or fill and have you come back than you leave me not liking what you see. Remember, I CAN NOT discuss who comes to me and whom I treat. It is against HIPPA and I will lose my license. So if you choose to keep it a secret, it’s safe with me.

If I go to parties or pop up in places, I do NOT drink alcohol while I am working and I still maintain a sterile field when injecting. First and foremost, I am a professional. With that being said, yes I can inject other places rather than an office chair. They do it all around the United States and because I am one of the few “traveling” Botox ladies, it seems different to some. However if you host a party, the consents will be signed before any consumption of alcohol begins. ☺️

I do parties, pop up in salons, office calls, wedding parties, house calls, and whatever else, so if you want me to come to your place of business, contact me through my email: Ladyandred2504@hotmail.com. Every patient gets my personal cell phone. I don’t have it posted online because some may think it is a calling card 😂.

SERVICES I OFFER **every patient will be assessed to determine if they are a candidate for treatment

• Lip flip

• Gummy smile

• Nasal flare (stops it)

• Nose slimming

• Turn down a nose, or slim a wide nose

• Liquid nose augmentation

• Neck lines, chest lines (aka sleep lines), cheek lines, under eye lines, bunny lines

• Under eye fillers or tear trough

• Cheeks

• Platysmal bands

• TMJ

• Jawline Slimming

• Botox for migraines with therapeutic Botox

• Botox for excessive sweating, hands & underarms

• Jaw contour with filler

FILLERS

Let’s chat lips first because I do more of those than anything else as far as filler goes and I think more would do it if they weren’t scared they would look like a duck upon leaving. Am I right? I WILL NOT put in more than you want. I will allow you to use a little then come back for the rest if you decide that you want more. When you do fillers, you see immediate results. You will have swelling so typically once the swelling goes down, people come back for more!

My actual patient with 1ml syringe of filler. Before and after photo.

Will I have bruising and swelling with fillers?

• Yes. That is a side effect of any injection. You are injecting a foreign product into your body and swelling is a natural response to that. Bruising is normal as well. I tell everyone to expect it and plan your appointment around the event to prepare for time to heal.

Will fillers really help deep smile lines?

• Yes! Obviously assessing your face first will determine the best route to go as far as if Botox can correct some lines or fillers is the best option. Also it could be that you may need cheek volume to help correct them as well. Best advice is to start small then advance treatment. It is unlikely if the lines are too deep that 1ml syringe will correct it. You may need more filler injected over time to correct it.

What is your price for fillers?

• Pricing depends on what product you are wanting. I will also base it on which area you are interested in filling and how much filler you will need for that specific area. Prices range from $250-$550.

How long do the fillers last?

• This is a tough question as it varies so much from patient to patient and on the product you are using to inject. Allergan products such as Juvéderm, which there are 5 types, last anywhere from 1 year to 2 years and It depends on the area. I have seen cheeks and under eyes last 2 years with no problem. Galderma products such as Restylne are comparable.

I have heard that fillers are painful. Is that true?

• Well yes I would assume without numbing the area it could be very painful as a needle is going into your face. I would not inject without numbing first. It puts me at risk for error when the patient is jumping and moving from pain. Cannula treatment for cheeks or under eyes is significantly less painful but I will leave that up to the patient if they want numbed or not. However I do not numb when injecting Botox.

Do you use numbing cream?

• Heck yes! I numb you up good before any filler is injected. I use a prescription cream I get from a compound pharmacy called BLT. It is a topical cream ( Not injected) and you apply it to the area 30-40 minutes before I start and I will re-apply if you start to “feel” something. Also some of the fillers already come with lidocaine in them.

Do men get fillers?

• YES! Some men want lips, under eyes, or jaw line contouring. Some men lack the upper lip and using a touch of filler in the top can balance it out. Filler is also good for the small lines!

Where have you had filler done?

• I have had filler placed under my eyes and in my lips! My lips were about 2 years ago and the under eye filler was a little over a year ago. So right now I need more ☺️

What if I don’t like my filler once you are done?

• I would hope that we wouldn’t have that issue but if you are for some reason unsatisfied with any filler treatment, I can inject a product to dissolve the filler. I keep this on hand in case of any emergencies as well.

BOTOX

I already have deep wrinkles on my forehead, will botox even help?

• Yes! It may not disappear the first treatment but over time and with maintenance, they will improve significantly! **I just injected a patient with deep lines and they were gone after first treatment.

What is your price per unit on Botox?

• I charge $11 per unit. Below is an image I have created to give you an idea of a price based on the area you are interested in.

How long does Botox last?

• It will last anywhere from 3-6 months. It is different for everyone. The more active you are and the more that you use your facial muscles, the quicker it will wear off.

How often do I need to get Botox to maintain it?

• If you want to stay up on it, every 3-6 months or when it starts to wear off or you see movement in the treated areas. Some people like a little movement so it varies based on personal preference.

What is baby Botox?

• It is a slang term for using a little bit of Botox allowing for some movement. My goal is not to freeze your face unless that is what you come to me asking me to do!

What is Microtox?

• Basically it is diluting the botox to a different ratio and using it in smaller doses and using it more superficial for wrinkles on the cheek area, neck lines, and décolletage ( sleep lines on your chest). It treats the lines not the muscles.

Do you ever use Dysport?

• I have used it but majority of my clients prefer Botox over Dysport. I would be more than happy to order and have some on hand for anyone preferring that I use that on them. Just ask!

Are there any side effect to Botox?

• Of course. There are side effects to almost anything. For me I make sure my patient knows you could have a dull headache afterwards, bruising, swelling at injection sites, and redness. I have. not had anything worse occur. You can find the entire list of side effects and usages HERE.

Can you just get Botox in your forehead?

• Yes!

Why does it raise your eyenbrows? Like “Spock brow”.

• Typically it is due to overtreating depressors and/or undertreating elevators in the forehead. It can be corrected usually by placing a small amount of Botox into the specific area of the forehead.

What is the cost for just around the eyes? Crows feet.

• Typically runs about $45-$135 depending on the severity of the wrinkles in that area.

Dysport lasts longer for me. What makes one work better than the other for people?

• It is usually due to your body’s metabolism. Some find that Dysport results are visible sooner and some find that Botox lasts longer, but again it varies from patient to patient.

How many units for a “gummy” smile? I heard that Botox can help that.

• Yes it can absolutely help! Assessment is always necessary for a more accurate estimate but I would guess anywhere from 2 units to 6 units.

If I am trying to get pregnant, is Botox off limits?

• As a labor nurse if you are not pregnant, it is considered safe. As always you may consult with your OB and most definitely when you are confirmed pregnant or breastfeeding it is discouraged.

How old do I have to be to get Botox or Lips?

• It is FDA approved for patients 18 and older. Often now, women and men are using it as a preventative instead of waiting until they are mid to late 30’s to get their first treatment.

How do you fix “smoker lines” around the mouth?

• Botox is a great place to start depending on how many, how deep, and age. Also filler is a great option if Botox does not correct to your satisfaction.

Can men get Botox?

• YES men get Botox….we just refer to it as Bro-tox 😂 I mean ya’ll are drinking White Claws so what’s the difference?? Haha but seriously it can make a big difference in your appearance and who doesn’t want to age gracefully? I know women like some lines but again, you won’t look fake and I can leave a few lines.

Botox lip flip. Results will vary from patient to patient.

*Photo courtesy of Regents Park Aesthetics

*Photo courtesy of Milliefiori Medical Skin Rejuvenation

*Photo courtesy of Pur Skin Clinic

*Photo source unknown.

If you would like more information you can contact me! Ladyandred2504@hotmail.com.

You can contact me to:

• Book a party (wedding parties too)

• In home procedure

• Pop up in your place of business

3-Day Juice Cleanse-Before and After

I am no stranger to doing a 3-day cleanse as I love them for a reset. When I see the scale tip over my “ideal” weight, I stop caring and start telling myself, “well one more donut won’t matter now.” Anyone else?? I hate feeling tired, sluggish, and bloated, but I love crappy food. I was scanning Groupon for something to do over Christmas break with my daughter and there were like 15 different juice cleanses available but no activities. HINT HINT 😂 Ok I got the message loud and clear and decided now was the time. Is there ever a perfect time to start? No. I am always going to have dinner plans or want a glass of wine, but you have to make time for you.

I have done the Suja cleanse in the past and loved it. You can get it at Whole Foods, Target, or online. I really wanted to try something fresh and local to me this time. I found The Juice Company, which has 2 locations, one here in Des Moines, and the other in Ankeny. I called the store and asked a few questions but they encouraged me to come in and try them before ordering. Not going to lie, I was annoyed at the time but it ended up being the best thing ever. So thank you!! A cleanse is something that you should start for YOUR success, not failure, and if you order something without tasting it, you may be setting yourself up to quit.

You order your juice the day before you want to pick it up or start your cleanse so it is fresh. You can pick it all up at once or go in each day. Again, mine is customized to me so if you want to do the same thing I did, they will know if you say you want to try the “ladyandred cleanse”. It cost me around $80 for the 3 days which is the most affordable cleanse I have done and the freshest one too!

My juices consist of these fruits/vegetables:

Spinach, Kale, Apples, Oranges, Lemons, Celery, Cucumbers, Ginger Root, Mangos, Bananas, Carrots, Raspberries, Blueberries, Strawberries, and Guava.

Day 1

I started my morning off with my regular coffee as suggested by The Juice Company, but tried to avoid the creamers and drink it black. I added 1 creamer instead of 2 🤷🏼‍♀️ Got to start somewhere right? I had 2 cups of coffee.

I started late because I picked the juice up at 1030 am, then immediately had one of my berry juices. It was delicious. Like seriously good.

I went to the gym and worked out lightly for about 40 minutes and did legs and some abs. You can see some of my workouts in my Instagram bio under “Workouts” if you are wanting some inspiration.

Then came time to pour my first GREEN drink after the gym. All of the messages from my IG stories were wanting to know how bad it was? 😂 It honestly is not bad and I did a 50/50 mixture of the juices to make it perfect for me. I can't go from donuts to celery in 1 day. I don’t even like celery.

I took some before photos and I don’t want to hear “ oh you are way skinnier than me or you don’t even need to do a cleanse.” Save it. I don’t need to do anything, but I don’t like feeling like crap every single day and feeling so tired from the food I am shoving in my mouth that I need a nap every day at noon. I am basically working out to stuff my face right now and that is not productive at all. I like my weight to be around 120 ish. That is a good weight for me. Ladies and Gentlemen, stop comparing yourself to everyone else at that same weight. We all look and feel different at the exact same weight and I only ever step on the scale if my pants stop fitting right 😂 But I did it for this so you could see numbers.

The jug seemed to keep refilling itself 😳 Like the green juice was never ending. Haha I felt like I was more bloated after day 1 than anything else. I peed every 5 minutes and it reminded me why I hate drinking water. I was preparing myself for the salad shooter to begin (sorry 😂) but it came in the form of a very potent gas 🤢 Thankfully I slept alone.

I took my last juice of the day (it was a banana one) and turned it into a slushy with my most favorite cup ever. It is actually Rowan’s, but I have one too! I will link in HERE. (Pictured below).

Day 2.

I started my day off with a coffee as I normally do with one less creamer, then went to the gym for a 2 mile run. I planned on 3 miles but honestly did not have the energy from my migraine the night before, and I wasn’t eating as many calories and carbs as I was prior to my cleanse. I did however feel more energized mentally and not so foggy, if that makes sense. That’s probably where the term “sugar coma or food coma” comes from.

I weighed myself after my coffee, gym, and first juice of the day because I forgot to first thing in the morning. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Again, this is not about weight loss for me as much as a restart to better eating habits.

I had an orange looking drink for my first juice and I was totally not wanting to try it for fear it tasted like carrots and dirt, but again, it was delicious. I have been regular with my bathroom breaks, so for those worried about having to run to the toilet every hour, I do, but just to pee. Although when I went for my massage I was terrified she would squeeze out a toot or perhaps get my bowels working when I didn’t want them too 😂. I was fine and neither happened. Praise the Lord.

After my first small juice, I just start drinking the green juice all day again until it was gone, then finished the night off with another fruity one. I kind of like something to look forward to after green allllllll day! So I definitely recommend spacing out your 2 fruit juices like I did. I began to slack on finishing the recommended amount of green juice throughout the day, but I felt full, so I guess that is a good thing, plus I am not used to consuming that many liquids on a normal basis.

Day 3.

Can you tell a difference? I certainly can! Pay no mind to a scale friends. I have technically only lost 3 lbs, but my stomach definition is coming back and the bloat is gone! I did a small workout and ran 1 mile, then lifted a few weights, with some abdominal exercises. I wasn’t feeling super and I was a tad light headed, but I am not eating much either, just drinking. Why workout then you ask? Well, because when you start and keep an exercise routine, you tend to stick to it when it is part of your normal day. Plus, I feel a ton better after I do. It clears my head. It’s me time. Even if you just start out by walking. Do something and get moving.

I did not finish all of the green juice again on day 3, but then I just drank it the following morning after my workout. I also cheated and ate a filet with asparagus AND 2 glasses of wine. That was the quickest buzz ever 😂

I am going to hop back on the Keto train now where I will avoid most sugar and carbs with balance. I love my wine and occasional sweet. If you are wanting some different Keto recipes, I have a few posted here on my blog in FOOD category! I will also do better at sharing snacks and meals over on my IG stories too so make sure you are following me there @ladyandredstyle.

TIPS:

-The first taste of the green juice will taste very “celery-ish” to you, but by the 2nd or 3rd cup it gets sweeter and then by the second day, it is completely gone.

-Start with one fruit juice in am and end your day with the other one. Green juice in the middle of the day.

-Do it with friends so they can keep you accountable. Or post about it. Don’t worry about the haters who hate seeing you post all of the time. They can find the block or unfollow button.

-Go taste the juices if you can! That way you can figure out what you like.

-Tag me in your posts on either Facebook OR Instagram so I can see your progress!!

Happy New Year Friends!

Get healthy for you. This life is what you make it and your body is a temple. Treat it like one. Cheers!

The New Crew- Life Update

It’s about time I share something. My tendency to try and control everything has come to an end and I now realize that I can no longer plan every outcome, nor do I want to carry that burden anymore. I went back and forth on whether or not I even needed to address this or if I should just let it be, but you are all a big part of my life and keeping something from you is just hard. My life has become very public and you all invest your time and energy into my business and I would not be here without your faithful souls. Honestly, throughout the past year while dealing with this, you guys have been nothing but a healing spot for me. Every time I would open up my Instagram, someone had something kind or encouraging to say even when you had no idea what I was going through. It kept me going. It was actually quite easy to ignore the haters because their information is hear say, and so I will pray for them and thank everyone else.

As you know I have a daughter and she is the biggest reason I do what I do, and she is the reason this post is so hard to write. Some day she will be able to read this and I want her to know where my heart was. I want her to understand that she will always be the best part of my life no matter what season I am in. I have done everything throughout this process to shield and protect her because I am her mom and that’s what we try to do. People may not understand my thinking on this, but you are not in my shoes and many times I feel I don’t know what to do. I question choices and decisions, beating myself up as I prayerfully try to figure out what is best for our daughter in the long run.

After this post I will no longer talk about it and I will not answer questions or talk in any negative way about anyone or anything. Though I am being vulnerable and real with you as I struggle through some of the most difficult days to date, please respect my and my family’s privacy. I do not wish to speak of this in detail with anyone, and won’t address questions. I don’t want to speak negatively about anyone. And please stop believing everything you hear. It’s exhausting trying to live up to all the rumors. I have already beaten myself up enough about my situation and I have had several months to grieve and process all of the change occurring in my life. I am human, I am not perfect, but I am thankful for the grace of God and His word to continually motivate and push me forward. It’s hard not looking back and wish things could've been different. The worrying, the self blaming, the doubt, the insecurity, loss of control, all of it is a lot to bear alone. It isn’t healthy. I also have a LOT of incredible friends who have my back regardless of my situations. These people have no idea how much they mean to me because words alone can not express my love and gratitude for them. You know who you are.

And if you were one to reach out to me via text, I appreciate the straightforward approach. But it appears a lot of people don’t know what to do or say with these types of situations so I am going to give you a little advice. Just reach out and say “ Hey, I just want you to know that I am here for you if you need anything.” That’s it. I don’t need to share my story, I don’t need to confirm or deny information so everyone can chat about it, I just needed to know that people were in my corner. I started writing this post 6 months ago and I have had to delete and add a lot as I have gone through the stages of grieving. At one point it was so dark I didn’t even recognize myself. The anger I felt was something I had to deal with. I will never understand what it is people find “fun” in gossiping about people’s misfortunes.

My life changed in September, 2018 when my husband and I decided to begin the divorce process. I hate even putting this in writing because it hurts, a lot. Like I said, I will not spill details for everyone to grab the popcorn and judge our life. Know that I will never say a bad word about him, as he is my daughter’s father and always will be. We spent 8+ years together and have a lot of history and memories that will remain. We will co-parent to make our daughter’s life the best it can be moving forward. We will remain friends and I would ask that you give him the respect he deserves as well in all of this.

Yes, we still traveled together and I hope we still can sometime in the future. Yes, we still lived together throughout the process and are currently still living together until I move into my new home. I continued to cook meals because that is what was normal for our daughter. Everything I shared in my stories was real but I purposely left out the details because honestly it wasn't anyone's business. As much as I love this job, my first and foremost job in this world is to be Rowan’s mom and I was doing what was best for her. Ugh. How do you tell a 5 year old and have her comprehend what is going on? I don’t know if there is a right way to do this but it seemed like the only way for us. My idea was to finalize everything, get my daughter settled, then tell her the most devastating news ever, but it’s hard to do that when people are coming to you with rumors and questions before you are “ready” to tell the only person it will affect most, your child. We ended up telling her to allow her to process it and ask questions while we were still living together to let her know that we are both there for her no matter what our living situation may be. To say my heart is broken is an understatement.

Moving forward as I share new stages of my life with you on the blog or through my Instagram stories and posts, please don’t look at it as I am bragging or glamorizing divorce or my situation. Again, I am sharing my real life with you and new things will be happening for me and I look forward to sharing those things with you all. It doesn't mean that everything will be peaches and cream, but I will tell you that I have gained an unshakable joy that comes from the Lord and it is not affected by worldly circumstances (most days). I started reading the Bible every day and a daily devotional, Jesus Calling, this past January as a way to cope. Without my faith or support system, I would not be ok right now. I also hope by sharing this and being vulnerable and open, it allows you to realize that I am human and it’s ok not to be ok. My life never was perfect, far from it actually. So if this helps someone else facing this difficult decision then my job is done. Ladies and gents….life is hard. But it is better to do life together than against each other all of the time.

This blog started January, 2014 and I named it Lady and Red. I am the lady and my daughter is the red. It is her initials, RED. So the crew really isn’t going to change around here but our lives will be different moving forward.

I bought my very first house and will be moving out in July. I honestly missed sharing that process with you all but rest assure I will be sharing all things and updates moving forward and I look forward to seeing what God has in store for my life. Stuff is about to get crazy! I have new responsibilities and a child starting Kindergarten all at the same time…I do accept wine as a housewarming gift 😂 So friends, I appreciate you taking the time to read my story and if there is something that you can do for me, it is to PRAY. Please pray as I need it, my family needs it. I appreciate you all and stay tuned for what this new crew has in store for you! XOXO