Bringing up Bebe My Way

Let's go back to before I had a child....I was going to be the best mom, do everything right, be that parent that everyone envys, have the smartest and most well behaved child in the history of babies. Duh because I had never had a baby so how could I ever understand the reality of raising a baby? I read the book Bringing up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by: Pamela Druckerman. Sounded great, achievable, and ideal so why couldn't I be THAT mom? I can. I would casually talk to my mom friends about how I was going to accomplish this task and be that fancy French parent, heels and all :) It became an ongoing joke, my friends would say to me how they couln't wait until I had a child so they could sit back and watch. One friend even bought me snack cups for my baby shower because I said I was NOT going to give my baby snacks, they don't need them according to the book. They should eat meals just like us. Right? I would love to think that I am still a great mom but ladies....this mom is gonna use snacks as blackmail, bribes, and silence (when she can start eating them of course.) But I am already washing up those snack cups for future use. I give up. One thing I have not let go is the way I dress. No friends, I did not take on the yoga pant wardrobe, never have, except actually going to yoga class. I swear it is the only way I feel human is if I continue to pretend I got sleep, got a shower, and had a warm meal, but it's all an act. I may look cute in the process but I am starving, dirty, and the bags under my eyes are covered with concealer. I kind of win. I swear my child is trying to win every Untapped badge available, if only there were one for breast milk not beer. I can feed her 20 minutes before we leave or I can try and squeeze in a feeding in the parking lot but for some reason she waits until the most inopportune time to want to eat. You name the place, I have breastfed there. Every mall-tapped, Smokey Row-tapped, Palmer's Deli-tapped, oh and Chocolate Story Book-yet again tapped. It was awkward at first because I try not to draw attention to myself but now...we whip it out just about anywhere. Sorry not sorry people. If you had to listen to crying instead, you would be begging me to make it stop. So you are welcome :) For those following my bottle saga (Breast or Bootle blog post)...it is still a battle of wills. I try daily but I am home all day with her and I choose peace over screams and she wins, I cave and the boob she gets. At my caffine fix mom date this morning, my friend suggested the MAM bottle, it worked for her so I guess we will be borrowing one of those now to give it a whirl. Add it to the list, why not right? Oh, and in my search of trying to replicate a boob in bottle form, Joovy, who has a nipple like your so called Boob bottle? (Please don't send me pictures if you do.) She wins.

The car rides are still painful with screaming and crying from start to finish, we are lucky for a silent ride. It is so painful that I bought an iPad case for the car to hang over the seat so she can watch her favorite Baby Einstein movie EVERY car ride. Seriously, how can this precious thing be so viscious? Geeze! What 5 month old gets to watch a movie every car ride? Spoiled much? We will see if it even works, hurry up Amazon and ship my package my sanity is dwindling away. I bet those French mothers are covering their eyes and ears over this one. Shopping with the baby is also painful. Come on child you are supposed to love shopping! She wants to be held and see everything, or wants to sit up as if her car seat doesn't sit up far enough. So she gets held the entire time so I can have some silence during my walk. I even went as far as asking the lady at Von Maur if they had baby care so I could actually try something on for once. They have everything else so why not? She kindly held my baby so I could try on clothes and spend some money. Too bad she caught me trying to sneak away and leave her with my baby (Kidding.) I will admit, when I see kids on those leashes I cringe, but next thing you know I will have one in every color and animal they sell! She wins always! People remind me daily that "oh little girls are so sweet now, just wait until 12 or 13 years old." What exactly am I waiting for? It gets worse? Aye ya aye! I am totally in for it and my mother would proably agree:) Paybacks. The new thing I am now struggling with the whole only child syndrome thought. Yes, she has siblings but they are older and it isn't the same. Babies relate to the whole baby talk thing. I YouTube babies and she talks to them, it is so cute. Is she socialized enough, is she going to be the sterotypical introvert nerd? Oh the stupid things I worry about. Sooooo....I signed us up for a class at the local library. Singing, clapping, and sitting in a circle with other babies and gaurdians. She seemed to like it but oh the things I do now with my free time is comical, the next thing you know my car radio will be nursery rhymes and I will know every word to every song, but I will still look cute singing it by golly! Haha good Lord. You should hear the amazing sounds I can make trying to entertain her 24-7. It's impressive.

Yes, I know she is only little once and it's only for a short while, but if you can not vent or laugh at your awesome parenting skills along the way, admit your faults, and try something else, what fun would it be then? The best part about these memories is that a year from now I will look back and wish that those problems were our only "issues" again as they will seem so minimal. But in the moment, right now, it is a monumental battle with my parenting knowledge. We will see who wins next time :)